Late Night Snacks
by got2bizee
Summary: They were going to have these late night snacks for as long as it took, she concluded. Hey, it was his fault. He had no objections, he would oblige, because it was his fault after all. Martin/Ruthie. R&R.
1. Chapter 1

For entertainment purposes only, not for profit. None of the characters are mine.

Pairing: Ruthie/Martin

--

She tossed and turned in her covers, kicking them off after a while even though it was freezing cold outside the warmth they provided. It was two in the morning and Ruthie knew she wasn't even close to falling asleep. She growled into her pillow in frustration because she knew, just like many nights before, she was going to start replaying the events again.

_Damn you Martin Brewer. _

It was his damn fault she could not go to sleep. What right did he have to tell her that he wanted to be with her after he knew that she loved T-bone? He had some nerve.

Rubbing the sleep off her eyes, Ruthie reluctantly got out of bed and grabbed her cell phone off the nightstand before heading downstairs.

She made not point to keep quiet as she made her way down. Heck, she stomped a little on the stairs on her way down half hoping that someone would hear her and they would join her.

Ruthie took her cell phone and dialed the numbers that had been playing in her head all night. As she waited patiently for the phone to dial she wasted no time to rummage though the kitchen cabinets. Co_okies. Jack Pot. _Only then did she realize how hungry she was.

"Hello?" raspy voice said after the seventh ring.

"I'm up. It's your fault. The least you can do is come over." Ruthie supplied flatly as she took bites from her cookie. Savoring it.

"Ruthie? Is that you? What time is it?" Ruthie could hear him moving around now. He sounded surprised, and a lot like he had just been woken up. _Haha. Yeah, that's because he just had_, she thought in satisfaction. He cleared his throat before speaking again, "Is everything ok?"

Ruthie couldn't help to roll her eyes. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Use the back door." She hung up before he could give her a response.

---

Ten minutes later Ruthie heard a light knock coming from outside the kitchen door. She go up from her chair and made her way to open the door. Standing outside her backyard was none other than Martin Brewer. He was wearing a baseball cap, probably to hide his un-mused, un-gelled, whatever you call it, hair. He had on some black sweats and gray t-shirt under his jacket. Not like she noticed or anything.

"Took you long enough." She noted a bit annoyed as she made her way back to her awaiting plate of cookies.

"Eh? Umm ok…" He said confused, closing the door behind him. "Is there a reason you woke me up at two in the morning, dragged me out of bed, and made me come over? Its like forty degrees outside."

"Yeah, try these" she handed him a cookie, a grin playing on the corners of her mouth.

He was now looking at her like she was crazy. He moved slowly toward her and took it. "You brought me here for _this_?" Martin narrowed his eyes as he waved the cookie around.

She nodded.

"Are you ok?" He asked again. He just had to make sure.

"Yeah, like I said, it's your fault I'm up so now you are going to join me for a late snack. So, taste." She ordered.

He took a small bite, looking at her skeptically.

"Good, right?" she grinned as she took a bite of one herself.

"Great." He swallowed.

"So about it being my fault that you're up. How exactly is it my fault?" He cocked an eyebrow questioning with a tilt of his head. After all she had just woken him up at two in the morning for… Cookies? He needed some sort of explanation.

"Well ever since that night, you know when you told me you wanted to be with me, to choose you over t-bone, well it just plays up in here," she pointed with a finger to her head, "like a freaking broken record, and I don't know why but I cant make it stop. I can't sleep. So, therefore its your fault." She told him blatantly, but then she just looked away.

He would be lying if he said he wasn't taken aback by this.

There was silence. Crickets could be heard. No, not really, but the silence was so thick any noise would be welcomed right about then.

"I see. Well, did you ever think there was a reason?" He wondered after a while. Ruthie's honesty had just opened doors that, he hoped, led to something more. A guy could hope, right?

"No." she shook her head, dismissing it, "But it is your fault, so you have to suffer the consequences. That means if I'm up, you're up."

Well, it was a working case.

"Ok, ok" he didn't argue, putting his hands up in surrender, he couldn't help the cheesy grin that was forming.

In Ruthie style, she just rolled her eyes, and smiled back at the boy standing in front of her. "You're such a dork."

"So…" he made an O with his mouth. Martin stood there looked around, rocking back and forth, as he put his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "What do I have to do?"

"Sit."

---

They sat there for a while; it was an hour later when Ruthie finally began to feel sleepy. Something about having him being there. She wasn't going to take the trouble to over analyze her thoughts and come up with answers, that where the life changing kind… blah blah blah. All she knew is that it was nice to feel…at rest.

He had long ago fallen asleep. Martin said he was just going to rest his eyes for a minute or two; it had turned into about forty-five. His elbow was propped up on the table as he rested his chin over his palm. That hand of his must have been numb by now. His eyes were shut. _Poor guy_, Ruthie though_, Oh well_. She quickly dismissed the guilt coming over. After all, it was his fault she had many sleepless nights.

"Hey" she gently tapped him on the shoulder.

"Huh?" for a minute he looked a little lost. "Hey" he registered with a yawn, stretching his arms as far as they went.

"I'm heading to bed now." she gave him the heads up that it was ok to leave.

"Oh ok. So my job is done for tonight then?"

"Yes" she took note of the clock in the microwave.

Martin nodded, and gave her a sleepy smile. He got up from the chair and made his way to the door.

"Hey" he turned around before opening the door, "If you, you know can't sleep or something, I'm here to serve my time." He said jokingly, "Dad made some of her famous pie, so you know, late snacks on me."

He opened the door to leave.

"Martin," she called out, "pie sounds good."


	2. Chapter 2

This night was different. For the first time in weeks Ruthie was able to fall asleep. All it had taken was the forty calculus problems Mr. Williams had assigned yesterday in class. If that wasn't sleep inducing enough the American Revolution chapter she'd skimmed through a couple of minute before heading to bed had taken care of that problem. Martin was safe tonight, and all was well.

That is until Ruthie woke up in the middle of the night, her heart hammering at her chest so fast and hard she thought is was going pop out.

She sat up right and took a look at her cell phone. It was two o'clock in the morning. Tirelessly rubbing her eyes, Ruthie laid back down. Her heart was beginning to work itself back to normal now, but she was left feeling scared. She was sure of one thing, she had had a nightmare. When she tried to recount the nightmare the more it seemed it became lost.

She was knew that the nightmare had nothing to do with Martin, but as she began to dial the numbers on her cell phone, she wasn't sure why his was the first that came to mind this time.

T-Bone, who had been in Seattle for the past three months with his dad, wasn't due back till next week. Ruthie knew that he wouldn't mind her calling him at such ungodly hours, and he would stay up as long as it took for her to fall back asleep. Yet, for reasons she didn't know, Ruthie didn't think of him. That thought alone made her feel guilty and at the same time sad. She loved him, she was sure she wanted to be with him, but she couldn't bring herself to call him at her hour of need.

She hung up after the third ring. Ruthie was just going to stop being such a big baby and troop this one out by herself. She wanted to be brave and say she could do it, but the room was becoming unbearable to be in.

The wind was harsh in Glenoak this winter, but it wasn't unusual for this time of year. Ruthie, who'd lived all her life in the small town, had never heard such huge gusts of air like the one that blew ruthlessly outside. The wind was beginning to seep in through the window cracks outside her room making an eerie sound that came across like a low whisper. To make matters worst the trees outside had grown branches so big that when the wind rattled them up it sounded like a cat was scratching her window, and that is when Ruthie knew she was done toughing it out. She was ready to dial Martin's number again, but just then his number flashed across the small LCD screen of her phone, and Ruthie quickly pushing the SEND button.

"Martin?"

"I'm out-ide o-en th– door" a barely audible voice came from the other side, but Ruthie was able to figure out what he'd said.

Ruthie, getting the robe that lay on the edge of her bed, almost ran the whole way downstairs. When she opened the door and saw him standing there she felt relieved, and if she hadn't stopped herself, she was sure she would have ran up to him and given him a big hug.

He hurried inside, and took off the hood that covered his head and most of his face. "I would've come sooner when you called," he took of his jacket as he spoke, "but the wind really picked up, so I waited a while for it to die down."

Ruthie just nodded, and she felt stupid at the fact that that was the only response she could give him. She wasn't sure why this time felt different. Maybe it was the fact that she had not expected him to come on his own.

"Sit…sit down." She finally said, and walked to the table.

"Thanks" He took a seat and looked around. " So, no snacks tonight?"

Ruthie was staring she was sure. He turned to her waiting for a response, but she just stared.

" What?" he finally asked, looking himself over, not sure at what she was staring.

She managed to look away this time. She felt angry at herself. "No…nothing. Umm let me see what I can find."

Mrs. Camden had made chocolate cake the night before, and Ruthie knew that there was some left.

She took out the cake from the refrigerator, got a knife, and started to cut the slices. She must have been concentrating on not looking his way, that by the time she turned around to get the plates from the cabinet there he was, holding two plates in front of her.

She froze.

"Here" Martin set the plates on the counter. His forearm lightly gracing her shoulder in the process. Ruthie, not meeting his eyes, quickly turned around.

What was happening? She tried to tell herself that the reason she felt awkward was because he had caught her of guard. The only reason he'd come in the first place was because she had guilt tripped him so many times before, he felt an obligation to come every time she called. This time was no different.

Either way, Ruthie knew that he was going to catch on, and so she went on definitive mode. Defensive mode in Ruthie's terms meant that she had to start acting annoyed and bitchy.

"Thanks" she said in sardonic voice, "I could have managed you know." She didn't know why she had to act this way, but she felt it was like it was a point she had to make.

Martin just sighed and took a step back watching Ruthie serve that slices of cake onto the plates, as they both remained silent.

Working progress he reminded himself.

----

They both walk into the Mr. Camden's office, turning on the light as they made their way in.

Ruthie propped herself in one of the chairs and set the plate down. Martin on the other hand made his way around Mr. Camden's desk and took a seat there. He got one of the frames from the desk. Ruthie didn't know why all of a sudden a smile appeared on his lips. She looked at the desk and scanned to see what photo was missing.

"This." He said as he turned to picture so she could see, "was actually the first time I ever saw you."

It was the picture of Annie holding a younger Ruthie, both sporting huge smiles for the camera.

Ruthie took a closer look.

She was trying to remember ever being that age. She was sure she had been happy; she laughed a lot more that was for sure. Ruthie couldn't remember the exact point in time when she detached herself from that good girl image very one expected of a preacher's kid. She could look back and say that it was when she began her sophomore year in high school and the world of boys like Jack started to enter her life. Maybe it had started when she began dating T-bone and she felt herself becoming more liberated. The thought of Tattoos and Sex hadn't entered her world until she had met him. Yet, when she really thought about it, no events had changed her more than the ones she'd experienced with Martin. Sandy, losing him, then him coming back, only to lose him again only this time by choice. She felt like a cynic now, and sometimes she wished she could go back to being that little girl. The little girl that Martin saw in the picture he was holding. She almost let out a bitter laugh, because she knew that no matter how much she tried, she had grown up

He stared at her for a while, as if trying to figure out what she was thinking. "You haven't changed a bit you know." Seeing the confusion in her face, he clarified. " Since I've met you. I cant remember a time when your eyes haven't sparkled when something gets you all excited, or when you smile at…" he looked at her and stopped himself from continuing, "well lets just say you haven't changed."

He set the picture back down, and rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, letting out a light laugh in the process. "I on the other hand, well lets just say I'm glad puberty kicked in when it did."

"Heh" she said in fake indifference, "You were an OK looking kid back then. Except for that hair" she made a face, pointing to his head.

"Whats wrong with my hair?"

----

They ate their cake in silence for a while.

Ruthie, having had enough of the silence, finally spoke. " Have you seen Jane lately?" she had no idea why that's the first thing that popped in her head, or why she considered that the topic to be the icebreaker, but there it was.

"No not really" he said honestly, " I saw her a while back at the Promenade with Margaret. Mostly her just ignoring me. I can't really blame her after what happened."

"She'll get over it…in time."

"I was a real jerk you know." His voice seemed to soften. "I get why someone wouldn't be able to find it in their heart to forgive me. But, just want them to know that I got nothing but time if that what it takes to prove that I've changed."

"Well I'll make sure to pass the message along."

He just nodded, and she swore she saw a smirk playing on the corner of his mouth.

---

They were playing cards. They found a deck in her father's desk. They were on their forth game, and Martin was loosing so bad, Ruthie cringed at how bad he was. She felt like being nice. Next game, he would win.

"How's is T-bone by the way? Haven't seen him hanging all over you for a while" He said, smiling pleasantly, watching as Ruthie shuffled the cards.

"That's because he's been with his dad for the past three months Martin. And he doesn't hang all over me." She focused her attention at the cards.

"Oh yeah, I forgot. I guess I should have known since I haven't felt the urge to punch someone." He smirked harder.

"That's cute" She rolled her eyes, and he just laughed this time.

"He's a joke"

"Martin…" she warned.

He turned away. "I guess I have to live with that for now."

"You don't have to live with anything Martin. This is how it is. I'm with him. Me and you." She said he pointed between herself and Martin, "this…this is what its always has been." She set the cards down and got up.

"You can go home now." She said on her way out the door.

She never did remember what that nightmare was about.

------

I would like to send a special thanks to, Harleyzgirl, Ansleyrocks,roselilypotter, runningtowrite, and most of all Sophia-Chad who reminded me to update the story!! Thank you, thank you for taking your time to read my story and reviewing, and also to those who took your time to check it out and read it, thanks!!!!


	3. Chapter 3

They were in her father's study, sprawled in the carpet as they sucked on some lollipops. It was one in the morning, and their little ritual was just beginning. They both decided that since they had big meal for dinner, courtesy of Mrs. Camden of course, they wouldn't have any late night snacks today, but as it came to be, while searching through her father's desk they found his 'secret' stash of candies.

Her knees were bent up as she rocked her hips side to side in a slowly motion to the beat of the music that played from his ipod. Ironically, it was a song about a lollipop. It was hip hop or maybe rap? OK, so it wasn't her style, and she didn't know the name of the artist, but it sounded movable enough and he seemed so excited to show her his favorite songs. So, she bopped her head and played along. Ruthie actually like the fast rhythm and tempo, it was fun and mindless.

He was looking up at the ceiling, playing his hands into his chest like an imaginary drum. Occasionally he would lip sync to the lyrics and she would laugh.

When the song ended he turned to her expectantly.

"How was it?" he said through a cheeky grin.

She tapped her chin, hesitating for a moment, as if deciding. She did eventually turn to face him and she broke into a smile. "Ok, ok. I admit you got decent taste Brewer. It wasn't has horrible as I thought."

He looked pleased by her response.

"And see, your ears aren't bleeding like you said they would." He pointed out.

He really did ask for the 'roll of the eyes' from her, didn't he? He was sure to make it a trademark move of hers, if he kept around. She quickly pushed that thought away. T-bone was back tomorrow.

He rolled his eyes at her too.

------

"Lindsey of Britney?" Ruthie asked with laughter in her voice.

He groaned. "Two crazies? Can't you pick like a normal chick? Say Angelina or that chick from Transformers?"

"No." she looked aggravated. "Don't call girls 'chicks' by the way." she warned with a stern finger. "And just so you know, the latter are not exactly sane. Come on pick."

"Explain to me why I have to chose between the two of them?"

She let out a heavy sigh, and started again. "Ok, so lets say that humankind was like wiped out. I Am Legend style minus the scary monster human things, but you know a disease or something killed the humans…just go along with it ok? So, Linds and Brit, because they are always on drugs developed this defense, immunity to the disease that has apparently spread and killed all humans, and you, for, I don't know what reason, survived. Hmm…lets say your dad, CIA, secret agent man, experimented with you with some drugs that made you unaffected…"

He interrupted quickly.

"Told you a million times my dad is not in the CIA," he tried to correct.

"Look denial doesn't make it not real." She noted. "But ok, lets go with your story."

He had to laugh at that.

"May I continue?" she asked irritated.

He gave her a curt nod for yes.

"Ok, were was I?" She attempted to place herself again. "Ah let me see…" she tried harder to recall where she had left of.

"Mankind died, the crazies survived, dad is CIA…sounds about right." He offered.

"Oh yeah. Ok, so your dad used you as a lab rat for one of his top secret experiments related to area 51…"

He had to cut in again.

"Ok, that's a military base, not CIA. And are you trying to make me an alien or something?"

She gave him an annoyed look.

"Sorry, go on."

" Did I mention that one of the side effects of the drug was that it gave you this annoying side effect of acting like a total smart ass?" she deadpanned.

He let out a humorless laugh.

"So, if I may continue. You survived. So now you are stuck with Britney and Lindsey. And since no human being can live with these two at the same time, you have to pick one. Kill the other. Just kidding, but remember the survival of mankind depends on this. Think Adam and Eve. Don't screw it up"

"You mean more than it is already?" he muttered before going silent.

He took a while to answer, and she didn't press him for one right away. He really seemed to be taking in the question, looking at the pros and cons of this imaginary world she painted.

"What happened to you?" he asked genuinely curious.

"What?" She asked confused.

"In this story you made up. Where are you?" he clarified.

"Probably dead like the rest of humanity." She said in a neutral voice, not giving it much thought.

"Hmm" he seemed to really consider this, he looked disturbed for a moment.

"So?" she pressed, "What's the answer?"

" That's the day mankind ceased to exist, I guess" He said decisively.

"What! Why? The choices are simple. So choose one," she said unpleased by his answer, almost bolting up from her spot.

"No, not simple. Don't you see…No Ruthie. No Martin. No life is worth living without you in it." He said with such serene conviction as he turned to her face her completely, she wasn't sure if he had actually said it.

Ruthie stiffened on the spot, tried to say something but closed her mouth instead.

-----

Twenty minutes, maybe more had passed. Ruthie had moved to her own respective corner of the office without saying a word.

Martin was still sprawled over the carpet with closed eyes as his chest rose up and down evenly. She wondered if he had fallen asleep. She couldn't really tell from where she was sitting.

After what he said, she was so mad, she fumed in silence. Annoyed at the liberties he took to say such things. Who did he think he was? First, he was the reason for her insomniac episodes every night, and now it seemed that in every chance he got, he threw one of those cheesy lines at her. What was she suppose to be? Smitten, Swoon? No, she was pissed. So angry she wanted to cry.

He cleared his throat, and took in a heavy intake of air.

She rolled her eyes at his action and looked away.

"I'm sorry ok?" he said quietly. "I'm sorry that I made you uncomfortable."

She huffed. "No you're not." She bit back angrily. "So don't say you are."

Ruthie could see him clench his jaw tight, nostrils flaring up in anger.

"Look" he brought himself up to a sitting position. "I can't help the way I feel. I like you a lot Ruthie. Damn, I think I love you, and if you're mad at me for that, fine. Be my guest. Be mad, lash out, make fun of me, but don't expect it go away just because you want it to."

Ruthie stood up quickly and Martin did the same.

"You are really something" she accused "After everything you have done. I can't believe you. I'm with T-bone, and when I tell him…you better watch out " She threaded as she tried to get pass him.

"Yeah…Ok." And he had to try his very best not to laugh at this because there was no way to look at this concept, in whatever angle you preferred to see it in, and say 'yeah, lanky, twiggy T-bone has the guns to bring you down'. She looked at him like she was about to bite his head off.

Martin blocked her way. "All I am saying is that if you didn't want to acknowledge the big elephant in the room, you shouldn't have ever asked me to come over."

"Get out" she growled.

"No" he said firmly. "Not until you tell me how you really feel."

It was a staring contest now. Battle of the wills. She had perfected the cold death stare long before he knew what was left and right. Sure he was taller, Ruthie thought, but she could take him. Well, in her mind she could, and if he didn't move within the next two seconds…

He stepped aside.

She moved to the door. "Don't bother coming anymore." She said through gritted teeth as she felt him following her from behind.

"I wont give up, not until you see…" Was all he could get out before she slammed the door in his face.


	4. Chapter 4

At some point Ruthie thought that it was actually possible to die of boredom. It wasn't confirmed or anything, but maybe, she thinks as she sits Indian style on the floor of her dim lit room, that she would be the first to prove it true. Ok, so it might have been her fault, a small fraction, so minuscule that you really needed an eyeglass to see it, or better yet, a microscope. Either way she was sitting alone, eating Oreo cookies at twelve at night…oh no!

She looked at the cookie she hadn't even realize she was holding and tossed it back down to the plate. Ruthie didn't need to worry about gaining fifteen pounds and top of everything else! She took a deep breath. Tomorrow she would take a morning walk or something.

The day had gone so slow today, and she wasn't in the mood for anything after what had happened last night. Her dad had gone to work, and he had spent most of the day at the office, so had Lucy. Kevin was around the house earlier with Savannah, but it was mostly awkward conversation along with even longer awkward posses in-between. She winced at the thought of her and Kevin actually doing that again. Then it was the twins, they were bugging her like always. It was summer so they really had nothing to do but be annoying. Mom was mom. She told Ruthie about a very strange dream. One where she swore she heard Martin and her arguing at two in the morning. She said it must have been a dream because Ruthie would never have Martin, or any boy for that matter, over so late at night. Ruthie quickly changed the subject. Mom gave her the "I know something's going on" suspicious look the rest of the day.

Fifteen minutes later.

Ruthie went to get a glass of water from the bathroom, and when she got back she let her curiosity take over. The street wasn't his, right? Slightly opening the white certain of her window, she peaked through the small opening she had made. It was dark, well except for the lamp posts lighting the streets, and one house. The Brewer house had one light on, the window in the middle of the second story. It was Martin's room, and it made the house stand out in the darkness.

Ruthie felt anxious, and could feel herself begin to fidget. Maybe...maybe if she could find it in her heart to forgive...

_No! Take a stand! you are mad at him remember?_

Ten minutes.

The cell phone was staring at her. It was on the nightstand just inches from where she was sitting and it was just commanding to be seen, taunting her with its power. _Call him_. It would have said if it could talk, and if it could, now would be the perfect time to question her mental state of mind. She needed to get a grip.

It lay there with its pretty little pink flowered cover she had bought at a small shop in Scotland. It had been that day she had talked to Martin, when she had made up that fake boyfriend because Sandy was there. She liked Sandy now, but back then, Ruthie could have had an annoyed, roll of the eyes spasm by who damn happy they both sounded. Ruthie really disliked her, because in her sixteen-year-old mind, Sandy had been the enemy. Now, Ruthie knew better.

"Martin and Sandy are getting married…" Mac had broken the news later that day.

"Ugh!" she cried out in frustration. Every time she thought of the ways he managed to make her so angry, disappoint her so bad, or just plain hurt her, she got mad at herself for letting him still get to her like that.

Meredith, Sandy, Jane. _Always them before me_.

She could already feel it, the sting in her eyes, the way her throat clenches, and tightens around her, almost chocking the air out. This was it; the moments Ruthie hated the most. When the memories rush back. The times that she swears that these will be the last tears she will ever shed for him. She feels the first one trail down her check. It's hot and it stings. She could feel the sob in the middle of her chest forming, and it aches so badly there.

Ruthie rests her head between both her knees trying her hardest not to remember. Maybe this is the way to do it, she thinks. To cry herself dry until she can no longer hold any resentment.

Why did she choose T-bone? Simple. She loves him. Yet, if Ruthie really thinks about it, the answer becomes simpler. He could never hurt her like that. No matter if he cheats, lies, or disappointers her, Ruthie knows her heart could take it. With Martin everything falls apart.

She feels two hands on her shoulders. Ruthie's eyes are blurry with tears, and in dark room she can only make out a faint silhouette of who is standing in front of her.

"It's ok. I'm here" the voice offers sweetly in the mist of the darkness that surrounds her.

Ruthie looks up and smiles in between her sobs.


	5. Chapter 5

Ruthie hadn't cried that hard in a long time, but she had to admit that it felt kind of good. This calm numbing sensation had washed over her by now and she felt better now that the tears were out.

That had been about fifteen minutes ago and she wonders how she hadn't manage to wake up the whole house with the commotion, and is thankful with the apparent fact that her family sleep like rocks. T-bone sat with her, held her for as long as she needed to be held, and let her cry. He didn't ask. Ruthie assumed the reason why T-bone didn't ask was because he was sure he would not get an answer. He was right. Also, when he kept saying that he was 'here now,' Ruthie was sure that he thought the reason for her crying was because she missed him.

Ruthie sat in the Kitchen now, watching as T-bone moves around the room searching through the cabinets and humming, lips pressed tightly shut, to something she doesn't quickly recognize. The sounds come out nicely and he seems real into it that she doesn't have the heart to interrupt. She wonders if this is what he expected things to be when he came home. No, T-bone probably thought of hugs and tears of joy, lots kisses, and, well, she doesn't know what else, but it sure wasn't her, with some old pajamas, blotchy face with zero trace make up on, and wild curls, sticking out from all sorts of places, in a pulled up messy bun. Well this is what he got, and T-bone seems quite accepting and happy with this reality.

It is pass two in the morning and here they are, two day earlier than she expected him, but here he was. He'd always had a key to the house from the days when he lived with them, so Ruthie didn't ask how he got in. And how she didn't notice him come in through the driveway, she doesn't know. Well, she wasn't exactly waiting for anyone to come in at that time.

T-bone moves around the kitchen, making the rounds before making his way to the refrigerator.

"I've missed you." He gives her a light squeeze on the shoulder and smiles at her.

"Me too"

And he bends down slightly to give her a peck on the lips as he passes her way.

"I'm starving!" he says a bit dramatically and rubs a hand over his stomach before his head disappears into the refrigerator door.

Ruthie smiles at him.

"You want me to make you something?" He asks, as he peeks out from the refrigerator and gives her a wink along with a toothy grin.

She wants to say no. Ruthie wants to say that late night snacks are not their thing.

"Sure" she says softy.

There is silence for the longest time. Ruthie watches T-bone as he takes out some contents out of the refrigerator. Watches as he sets the cheese, the ham, bread, mayonnaise and lettuce down. He resumes the humming and she watches him.

He looks up once in a while and gives her a smile when he does.

"How was it with your dad?" she pipes in through the humming, hoping to start a conversation.

"Good." He shrugs. "Boring. Dad had me help him out at the office. So the only highlight I got around there was when a kid kicked me in the face when dad tried to put the needle in him mouth no numb it." He rubs his cheek remembering.

T-bone hadn't told her of that over the phone.

"Here's the kick." He says, picking up the knife and spreading the mayonnaise all over the slice of bread. "The kids name was Martin." He scoffs, and looks up at her. "My luck right?'

Ruthie's eyes budge out for a second.

"What have you been up to?" he asks casually, and resumes what he was doing.

Ruthie should tell him. He has opened up the perfect window for this conversation. She should say, 'Well T-bone, if you must know, I've been hanging out with Martin for the past couple of weeks, not in the day, but at night, you know here in the kitchen, sometimes in my dad's office. We do it, in the chair, in the carpet…Oh Why you may ask? Well I can't sleep. You see I have these dreadful thoughts at night. What kind of thoughts? Martin's declaration of love… You know that night, when I told you I wanted to be with you, well Martin and me had this chat. You have nothing to worry about though. I mean, we talk and its nice, most of the time at least, that is until Martin declares his 'love' for me in between snacks and banter…but In my defense, when he does I kick him out!"

"Nothing" Ruthie says instead. "You know, same old same old. Babysitting, helping mom, sleeping in late"

"Hmm" T-bone says and nods. He stops what he is doing, looks up and smiles. "That's nice."

T-bone had moved to chopping the lettuce, and the way he chopped it, like if he is trying to kill it makes her think that something is up. Ruthie can't put her finger on it.

"Jane called me two days ago." He remarks, in what Ruthie thinks as an attempt to change the subject.

"Oh" she says equably, no sure why he thought she would care. "What did she want?"

Ruthie hadn't seen Jane or heard from her since she declared war on her back in the day when Martin was being a two-timing jerk. Jane never did let that go. She even tried to get with T-bone for those two seconds him and Ruthie were broken up. Ruthie suspected that all those times her mom would invite Jane over was in an attempt to mend things between the two. Her mom was queen of obvious. She would excuse her self all the time, for some reason, something always came up. "Oh honey, forgot about the load of wash, but you two talk. I'll be back before you know it!" Or, "Oh honey, I forgot about the meatloaf. Whoops! But you are here, keep Jane company!" The list went on and on. Ruthie's knew her mom had good intentions, wanting to get them together in hopes that they would open up, have a heart to heart, maybe cry a little in the process and become Besties for life. He mom probably thought of two girls, overcoming their problems, growing from the experience, and rising above their problems, becoming better people in the process. Saturday slumber parties, makeovers, best friends braiding each other's hair, while telling each other their deepest darkest secret. Things like that. Sure, Jane wanted to get a hold of Ruthie's hair…probably tear it out from the root with her bony hands. As for telling secrets? Really?

"She called to catch up, I guess. She mentioned Martin." He says sourly, and makes a face when he says Martin's name. "Seems they are getting along now."

"Umm…That's Good?" Ruthie staggered the words, her answer coming out more like a question than a response. Why all this talk about Martin anyway?

"For her I guess." He shrugged, looking disgusted by the thought. "He called her. Apparently he wants another 'chance'." He air quoted this.

"Oh here." he pushes the sandwich to her, and takes a bite from his.

She stares at the sandwich, but there is nothing there.

Ruthie knows these moments too well. The moments were something hits you unexpectedly, so fast, almost knocks the wind right out. She feels fiery emotions all over while her heart begin works over time, pumping so fast and hard it creates this ache in the middle of her chest. It's happening again. The scenario is happening. She remembers punches, humiliation, and arms encircling her to stop her. _"I hate you" she says, "I hate me too." Is all he can say. _She shouldn't feel like this.

"Are you ok?" T-bone is standing next to her know. His voice sounds like an echo out in the distance.

Ruthie nods, and sits still. She's doesn't trust herself to move or to speak. One more minute her mind is telling her.

"Let me get you water." The echo says.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

The door. Ruthie's mind is telling her.

She sees T-bone checking his watch and say something like 'who could it be?'

Ruthie knows who it is. She gets up from the seat and walks to the door and opens it.

Sure enough.

Martin is standing outside. Hands in his pockets, with a huge grin.

"You opened the door." He says a bit surprised, and clearly glad that she did.

He is doesn't see T-bone.

"You liar" she intends to scream this at him, but it comes out more like a harsh whisper.

Martin's face falls and finally takes note of at the person sanding in back of her.

"Ruthie are you ok?" he asks concerned and tries to step in a bit closer.

Ruthie tastes something salty. Tears? Maybe. Her eyes are becoming blurry.

"Did he do something to you?" Martin's voice changes to anger in a second and he looks at T-bone like if he's about go hurt him.

"I hate you" her eyes sparkle with anger, as they are now connected with Martin's. There is no mistake that she was directing this at him.

Martin looks startled and confused by this.

"What?" he asks quickly.

T-bone is already by Ruthie's side when she looks back. He is blocking Martin from coming in.

"What are you doing here?" T-bone demands to know.

Martin rolls his eyes and almost pushes him out of the way, but its Ruthie who does the pushing in this case.

With two hands, just like she had done nearly a year ago, she pushes Martin out.

She slams the door.

Mr. Camden is the first to come down a minute later.

-----------

Ok. Sorry. It seems like most of the time Martin is getting kicked out of the Camden house without getting to tell his side of the story. Sorry! I love Martin but this was necessary. Next chapter he will get to tell you his side of the story! I'm thinking of making it a Martin-centric chapter, cause he has a load of explaining to do~!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Hey you guys sorry for the late update! Whoever is still interested in this story, thanks for sticking there with me! And I promise more updates! I lost my harddrive a while back along with the POV of Martin. This was actually a good thing, because as I re-wrote the Martin Pov chapter (which the story still contains) new ideas emerged and the story just grew on its own. The story is done; there are two parts to this story. Part 1…

-----

Ruthie wonders if all the CD's Lucy asked her to take to the Church dance are still on top of her closet. She'd lent some out to Margaret and Meredith, but she can't remember if she got them back or if they were collecting dust somewhere in her room. Most of her CD's had been either Indi Rock or Alternative. There was also some rather embarrassing 80's and early 90's power ballads that she secretly kept stashed under her bed, but those had no intention of ever seeing the light of day. Maybe Boy George was in this year?

Lucy, perhaps delusional and deranged when she thought this out, must have thought that since Ruthie was a teenager, she would have an idea of what was 'in'? And although Ruthie did consider herself to be in with the trends her songs were far from 'in' let alone songs that would be made to dance... in this era. Still, she wanted to do this one thing right because Lucy had been counting on her to come up with a good selection. But Ruthie shouldn't have been thinking of that right now, not when she was a little occupied at that particular moment.

T-bone is on top and she is on the bottom. It's would have been rare occasion had this been two months ago. They are lying on the couch, while everyone else is at the Church getting ready for the dance going on later tonight. Lips were moving as hands roamed with inexperience and desperation, but it was T-bone was doing most of the work. He'd made a few soft groans in the back of his throat. At least someone was enjoying it. This had been a good distraction from her problem once. She grabs the back of his neck and deepens the kiss. Damn it. Why wasn't it working anymore?

The remote control has been digging on her lower back for the past thirty minutes and it's starting to hurt like hell. She knows that she's been squirming, and fumbling in her kisses, but she just can't stand the discomfort anymore.

"Something wrong?" He says a little breathless when he looks up.

"No. No." Ruthie lifts her hips a little. "The remote. See?" She brings the remote from under her and sets it on top of the coffee table. She takes this as an opportunity to lift herself from underneath him. The mood totally killed.

He let out an audible sigh when he lifts his weight to give her room to sit up. When she is fully gone, he collapses back on the couch. T-bone lies there rubbing his hands over his face as she sits with her back to him adjusting the buttons on her pink camisole. Ruthie doesn't have to see his face to know that he is annoyed by how it turned out. She'd been doing it all week long.

Last summer they had talked about having sex, and maybe even a couple of months ago she would have done it, allowed him to be her first, but now so many things had been changing inside her.

When Ruthie turned to look at him she finds him observing her with lowered eyes.

She cleared her throat in discomfort.

"Are you ok?" she asks.

"I just need a minute," he shrugs in response and get up from couch.

"Are you sure?" she asks again, suddenly doubtful.

He doesn't say anything when he leaves her sitting there, unanswered question and all, and makes his way upstairs.

Ruthie should say sorry, but sorry for what? Was he really going to pressure her into something she wasn't sure she wanted? She sits there for a minute before remembering that she needs to finds those damn CDs up in her room.

----

The boom box sits next to her, REO Speedwagon's 'Keep on loving you' playing softy in the background as she tries too categorize all the CD's by genres. This doesn't mean that it's any easier to find the kind of CD's that can be discrived as "danceable". She is sitting on the floor, the CD cases are everywhere and she can't find anything, or see a trace of a floorboard for that matter. Cindi Lauper's, "Girls just want to have fun" is still in right? It was an oldie but a goody. (Or so Mary had brainwashed her to think). She was screwed.

She hears heavy drag of footsteps outside the hall. When they near the weighty steps stop. There is silence for a moment followed by a soft knock to her door.

"Can I come in?"

It's T-bone and she tells him yes. When he does, he takes one look the state of her room and raises a questionable eyebrow her way.

"Lucy is having me put a mix of music for the dance tonight." She bids in explanation, a bit embarrassed by the mess.

He gives her an 'Ah' look and hovers around the door as she shovels the cases into one large pile in front of her.

"Need any help?" He offers. He stands there waiting, looking awkward as shoves his hands into the front pockets of his dark blue jeans.

Ruthie knows the only reason he wants to 'help' is because he feels guilty that he walked away before, but she chooses to be the avoider this time, because hey, he started it first. She knows that they should talk about it, but avoiding was so much easier.

"No, I have it all covered." She says with a smile, lying through her teeth. _Liar, liar…_

Lately she's been avoiding spending time alone with him, but he's been acting distant to.

"Ok…" He looks a little deflated by her response but he still manages to return the smile. "I think I'm going to head to the church, then. Your dad asked me if I could stop by and help set up the DJ booth."

"Alright. " She says and hopes it sounds neutral enough.

"Love you." He tells her.

"Me too."

He nods and looks at her for a moment. She cant read his face, because along the way he's become good at hiding things that even she forgot how to read him, but still, its like he knows. _Liar. _It feels like its just on the tip of his tongue but he doesn't say anything.

He turns around and shuffles away.

"T-bone?" she calls after him.

"Yes?" he looks almost hopeful when he turns around.

"Um… Can you please close the door on you're way out?" She immediately feels bad when she sees his shoulders drop.

He closes the door and she hears his steps become more faint when he walks down the hallway. When Ruthie hears light steps going down the stairs she knows that he is gone.

With a heavy groan she falls back to the floor. What is she doing? She blames the lack of sleep. Ruthie thinks that she can't fall asleep without her late night snacks. She's even lost five pounds because of it! And though she should be happy, she could gladly gain forty pounds and have it all back. Well maybe not, but it seems that as the days pass she becomes less logical. It hurts, it hurts so much…and before she could go on her usual full-blown rant on her emotional issues that her life seemed to carry on a daily basis, she hears someone outside her door.

"Is there anyone here?" The voice is sort of deep. She doesn't recognize it, so she quickly grabs the first thing around, a bunch of the CD cases, and stands up. She waits now, still as a statue.

"Snookie?" The voice speaks again, but this time Ruthie recognizes the nickname, and quickly puts a face to that voice.

"Robbie?" She says a little unsure, but she takes a few steps forward.

She watches as the doorknob turns and the door begins to open.

"Snooks!" Its Robbie, standing there with his hands stretched out and his grin so wide it looks like it hurts.

Ruthie nearly runs the small distance between them. When she leaps into his open arms, Ruthie is pretty sure that her face mirrors his.

"What are you doing here!" she cries out excitingly, arms still hold him tightly.

Ruthie can't believe her eyes. Robbie, the guy who nicknamed her Snookie year ago when he caught her stealing cookies is right here in her room. It almost feels like he never left. Sure, the guy has some morning stubble and his hair is growing out, and she admits that it looks bit odd on his face, but its so Robbie that it suits him perfectly. He smells like laundry detergent and fresh morning air. It had defiantly been a long time, but damn if it didn't feel great to see him again.

"Um Ruthie…" he half chocked out, "admitting this might be a blow to my ego, but you're hurting me with the killer grip, do you mind loosening your arms a bit?"

"Sorry" she says as she lets go.

They both laugh as he nurses his hurt shoulders, among other things.

They stand there for a moment, the silence broken when she suddenly punches him in the arm.

"You scared me to death!"

"Ouch Ruthie!" He does a weird convention of flinches and squints

"You turned into quite a violent person haven't you?"

"I thought you were a burglar or something." She says defensibly.

"Do I look like a burglar? Besides, I think I'm a little late for that don't you think?" She sees him scanning the room.

" Looks to me like someone already broke in, and decided to raid your CD collection. Oh look Vanilla Ice! Nice." he flashes her a smile and motions for a high five.

Ruthie rolls her eyes but still manages a weak high five.

"Ah Snookie, I knew you were in there."

"So?" she looks at him expectantly.

"So, What?" Robbie asks confused.

"So...What are you doing here?"

"In your room? Snookie, kinda obvious why I'm in here."

She gives him a look that tells Robbie he knows darn well that's not what she's asking.

"I don't even get a 'Hey Robbie nice you see you?" he asks, playfully nudging her arm.

Ruthie stares unamused.

Robbie knows that this battle had been lost long before it began. He takes a deep breath. " I heard about Mr. Camden."

His focus suddenly shifting to the CD's cases scattered all over the floor.

She quickly wants to take her words back. Ruthie doesn't have to see his face to that there is guilt written all over it.

"Matt told me that he hadn't been doing well." Robbie sounds so serious now, regretful.

"He's was sick, but he's ok now." Ruthie feels her voice go softer.

"I know." He clears his throat. "I know. Its just…I should have been here."

"You didn't know."

"I wanted to be here, especially after all he did for me. I owed him that"

"But you're here now." She says gently.

When he looks up, his smile doesn't quite reaching all the way.

----

All serious conversations aside, Robbie helps Ruthie pick a couple of CD's that he assures her are still "awesome". Robbie comments that her CD collection is quite limited of any good music, which automatically earns him a couple of more punches to the arm. He tells her that she is lucky he brought his ipod and she just rolls her eyes. Secretly Ruthie is very thankful, but he doesn't have to know this.

The condition for letting her borrow his ipod, he tells her, Vanilla Ice is a must. They were still in the negotiations stage with that.

When they're done, they head downstairs because Robbie is hungry and Ruthie just doesn't want to look at another CD in her life.

She makes him a sandwich and puts a side of cookies in his plate. He laughs good-naturedly and asks her if she is still in the cookie stealing business.

"Shut up." She answers, laughing.

"So Snookie. How's life in Glenoak treating you? Any boyfriend's I should be having a talk with?"

"Umm, life here is," she tries to find the right words, "interesting and complicated"

"Interesting and complicated?" He repeats as he learns forward, with a smirk, hoping to hear just how interesting and complicated.

"Yes. But hey what about you?" She tries to shift the conversation back to him because she'd rather not talk about it.

" Not so fast Ruthie Camden. Now its your turn to spill." He sits there waiting, looking amused.

"Robbie, I just…I rather not ok? I've had a couple of rough weeks and I haven't been sleeping well. So, how about we leave it at that?"

Robbie seems to contemplate it for a moment but when his wide grin appears again, Ruthie knows that he had no intention of leaving anything alone.

"Snookie I know about complicated and I know about Interesting. Come on, I lived in this house too. Dated Mary and Lucy, Remember?"

With a heavy sigh she knows that maybe its wise to get an opinion from a person that doesn't know either Martin or T-bone. Maybe Robbie would be the perfect person to confide in, because frankly who else was there who could understand better than Robbie?

"Ok." She concedes, a bit hesitant. "But I'm warning you, it's a long story."

He nods and she takes that as an ok to start.

"Well, It all started about two months ago, but even then you can say it goes back to years ago. It all started with a boy. His name is Martin. Martin Brewer lived here with us, just like you had, and well I kind of fell for him…"

Robbie sits there listening and nodding here and there. Ruthie tells him the short version. How she had fallen for Martin, about Sandy and baby Aaron, and the humiliation of realizing that he only liked her like a friend. She tells him about coming home from Scotland and meeting and falling in love with T-bone, how she even got a tattoo with his name on her back. Robbie looked shocked when she told him that part. Ruthie also told him about her break up with T-bone via text message and then getting with Martin, only to find out that he was two timing with Jane, which ultimately led to the break up. She told him about this new Martin, the one who wanted to make amends, asking her to give him another chance, but instead choosing T-bone because she loved him and forgave him. Then, Ruthie told Robbie about the sleepless nights, and the late night snacks.

"Then about two weeks ago, I find out that he's back with Jane. I mean come on! First he tells me that he's in love with me and then he goes off and asks Jane out? He's a jerk right? Why should I let that two timing jerk affect me?" She feels a little out of breath, but all this has brought up so much anger that in trumps any feelings of being tired.

"First of all wow." he blinks a couple of times before continuing. " I need a minute for the spinning effect in my head to go away."

If feels so weird to get all that off her chest, but she sure feels a whole lot lighter, and when Ruthie thinks about it, she understand what Robbie means.

"Ruthie, sounds to me like you know the answer to a lot of your questions." Robbie finally remarks.

"What do you mean?"

"Late night snacks with a guy you can't stand? Letting this Martin guy get to you even though you love that T-jay guy?"

"T-bone" Ruthie corrects.

"Look Snook's I get it. Hell, I was T-bone, remember?"

She did. Ruthie remembers Robbie telling Mary to pick him over Wilson, the guy with the baby.

"I sympathize with the guy, but I can tell that that's not where you're heart is at" And as if he could tell, he put up a hand to stop her from interrupting.

"Ruthie let me ask you something. Why are you so mad that he asked that girl out, if you already have T-bone?" Robbie asks, carefully.

She must look like a fish on water, opening and closing her mouth. She doesn't have an answer. Why did she care? Ruthie knew why she cared, but those feelings, they had the power to bring her up the highest of mountains, or make her fall to the lowest deeps.

"I…I can't lie anymore" She says to no one. "I guess I've always known."

"You still love him?" Robbie's voice is warm, understanding.

"Maybe."

They stay quiet for a moment before Robbie asks, "So, tall, curly hair, and skinny? He must be T-bone, right?

Oh no. T-bone. What was going to happen to them? I'd looked like the avoidable was about to become the unavoidable. It was finally time for them to have a serious talk.

"Yes. Wait, how do you know how he looks like? She looks at him puzzled.

"Well…" his lip quirk as he puts two fingers on each side of his temples. "Didn't you know? I'm psychic"

"Yeah, ok…" she laughs and rolls her eyes, Ruthie Camden style.

"Ok, I saw him for a second when I was coming in through the back door. Besides, I stopped by the church before I came here, figuring your dad would be there and I met Martin."

"You've met him?" she asks surprised.

"Yes, which actually explains a lot." He laughs. "I would have been here earlier, but it took your dad some time to convince the kid that I wasn't a stranger to you. I guess he didn't trust me to be her with you. Before I left he told me he was a baseball player, and very good with a bat."

Ruthie couldn't the smile tugging at the edge of her lips. The butterflies were everywhere. He…he wanted to protect her. Shouldn't he be mad at her? I mean she'd been acting Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde for the last couple of months, even she was mad at herself.

"Either way, Snooks, looks like my replacements are no prices, but somehow they got a girl like you so how bad can they be?"

"Believe me Robbie, I'm no price." She makes it sound like it's a matter of fact.

Robbie looks at her incredulously. "Ruthie, you are one of the greatest girls left out there. Smart, beautiful, strong. A true Camden lady."

He walks up to her and puts an arm around her shoulder. "You can quote me on that."

"No Vanilla Ice" She tells him at the risk of sounding cheesy with another line.

"Oh Come on!"

-----

Robbie is taking a phone call in the hallway and Ruthie decides to check her text messages. Its weird because there would usually be one or two texts from T-bone, but she shouldn't be to surprise that there wasn't one. He must have been mad at her. She has to talk to T-bone today; it was a talk long over due.

Ruthie decides to send him a text message asking him to meet her outside the church. When she sends the message she hears a vibrating sound somewhere around the kitchen.

She spots the blackberry on top of the microwave and she goes to get it. Its T-bones, he must have forgotten it on his way out.

In the LCD Screen the "Unread Message" appears. He has one unread message, which is hers.

Ruthie should just delete it.

When the opens up the screen she finds her text and just below hers there is one read message from…Jane. She clicks before thinking twice.

The message reads: I'll be waiting if I don't answer I'm in the shower gets the key and follow the trail of clothing lol.

Lol? More like WTF? When Ruthie opens T-bone's message, she finds that he was the originator of the text, which says. "I need you. I'm heading over there."

It's Robbie who snaps her back into reality.

"Are you ready to go?"


	7. Chapter 7

Ruthie keeps mostly quiet while Robbie tries small talk. They're about a half a mile away from the church and Robbie has done all but made Jeff Goldblum impressions to get Ruthie out of her funky mood. She is staring out the window, and when she doesn't even bother to acknowledge him, he finally gives up and begins to scan the radio for decent music. Ruthie grips her hand tightly around the phone she's carrying inside the pocket of her hoodie. She didn't even bother to change clothes before they left. Robbie seems to settle for a song that sounds good enough, but when he starts to render his interpretation of "All the Right Moves" by One Republic, out loud, it mostly comes out as shrieks of toneless words. Ruthie, horrified, quickly turns the radio off, leaving him half ways through a verse, before the car is left in total silence.

They don't say a word the rest of the way.

When Ruthie and Robbie enter the church hall, the first person they see is Lucy. She looks all kinds of crazy. Kevin stands behind her, and he looks tired. Ruthie feels sorry for the poor sap, because it's a well-known fact that Lucy gets kind of loony when she's under stress. The feeling only last about a second, because what he does next will definitely earn him a couple of punches to the arm. Kevin is pointing right at Ruthie, and that's all it takes for Lucy to turn and spot her. Kevin takes this as a chance to sprint out of there. Lucy comes charging at them, her hair sticking out in weird ways, but Ruthie is not about to say anything.

"Did you bring them?" she says quickly, demanding with open arms

"Here" Ruthie, sort of scared, throws the pile into Lucy's arms.

Robbie is standing next to Ruthie and hands Lucy the ipod, more gently of course. He has a goofy grin plastered all over his face and Ruthie notices the weird look (that's almost looks like longing) he gives Lucy, who is so preoccupied with her own problems, she seems oblivious to the fact.

"Oh no you don't!" Ruthie warns and before Robbie can say anything, she hoists him by the arm, dragging him across the room, leaving Lucy looking on confused.

When they are within safe distance of any eavesdroppers, she gives him a look that hopefully tells him that she is capable of murder, as she lets go.

"What?" he asks, looking annoyed.

"What do you think you're doing?" she hissed, looked around to see that no one could hear them.

"Helping out, what do you mean?"

"No, No. I mean what's up with the puppy dog eyes you were giving Lucy, over there?" she points at Lucy for effect, and Ruthie sees she is looking at the pile of CD's in her hand.

And when he doesn't say anything, she knows she's figured something out, something she kind of wishes she hadn't.

" Why did you really come back?"

"I told you already." He stiffens, as he brings his voice just below a whisper, and looks around to see who is within earshot.

"Robbie. She's married." She whispered cautiously.

"I'm not…I wasn't going to do anything" he trails off weakly, as he looks away.

Robbie was looking at Lucy. Ruthie remembers that look. She remembers the longing and the wanting in that stare. But she also remembers the hurt accompanied with it, and the heartbreak, and Ruthie is damn sure that at that moment, when Kevin appears next to Lucy and he leans in to give his wife a kiss on the lips as he makes small circles around her back and all creases of worry or stress disappear from her face, Ruthie knows exactly was Robbie is feeling.

He looks away desolately.

"You can't come here and destroy her life." she warns, because that's what a good sister did.

"I'm going to go and see if your dad needs any help" he says, changing the subject.

"I'm sorry"

Because she is. She is also familiar with the impossible.

He turns around, "Just don't, OK" he raises his hands in dismissal, and walks away.

---

She wants to stay at the corner she is currently standing in, and sulk. That's all she wants. Robbie is avoiding her now, and he is helping her mom put up the tables. The twins are supposed to be helping but they are playing with Savannah and hitting each other with balloons. Martin went home, Ruthie didn't ask. Honest. It was her mom who causally told her when they bumped into each other in the bathroom. Probably getting ready for _Jane_. Though, tonight Ruthie has bigger fish to fry. _A scrawny two timing jerk to slap. _

How could T-bone do this to her? Wasn't he the one she was supposed to trust? She had chosen him, and he'd betrayed her, with Jane to add insult to injury. The one girl that every guy seemed to chose over her. Martin and now T-bone? Who was next? Was Jane going to go find Peter and date him too?

A part of her wondered if Martin already knows? No, with Martin there would have defiantly been punches and bloody noses. Kevin was still here. So no, no murders in Glenoak, at least.

That knowledge brings comfort to her.

Jane's giggles echo through the small hall. It penetrates over the music playing in the background. Her head is thrown back and T-bone stands next to her laughing.

Odd, that Ruthie almost forgot that laugh because it's seems like forever since she last heard it.

It's throaty and jovial.

Ruthie is still in the corner, where she was supposed to be sulking, but she can't help and watch them from the small space she made her own.

She should be angry, after all Jane and T-bone were probably sleeping together, but she stands there just watching them.

T-bone is the one to notice her, and he waves a hand at Ruthie when he makes his way toward her. Ruthie notices that Jane's smile disappears and she just stand there, hands folder over her chest.

His curly hair looks blown, probably from the wind outside. He is wearing a different shirt then the one he left with. This one is black. Before she can react in anyway, she feels his arms encircling her in a hug. He smells of Downey, fresh breeze. Her mom use to use it, and Ruthie use to love it, until her mom switched to one that smelled of meadows and rain.

She doesn't return the hug; instead her arms hang on each side like death weight.

He steps back and she pulls the Blackberry out. He goes pale in the face, and doesn't even try to meet her eyes, but instead looks at the phone in her hand.

"Here" she shoves the small devise at him, and he stammers a few steps, the ghostly face still there.

She snorts bitterly as she tries to move pass him. The glossy feeling of tears is clouding her eyes, and she just wants to get away from him.

Hadn't he been the one that would never break her heart?

He reaches out, and manages to grab one of her wrists.

"We need to talk" he says, his voice thin and crackly.

Ruthie doesn't know why, but she nods, and pulls her hand away.

----

The parking lot has a total of about seven cars. Most of the people are in the hall helping out, so is pretty empty when they get there.

"I don't know where to start." He says, as he paces around, rubbing his face with both his hands.

"Well why don't you start at the part when you cheated on me with Jane?" she offers, because that was the obvious place to begin.

He looks at her for a good moment before begrudgingly letting out a laugh.

"You're laughing?" Ruthie wishes she had kept her phone so she could throw it at him right now. "I don't think any of this is funny."

His laughter dies down.

"I have a better idea." He sneers. "Why don't we start at the beginning? When you and Martin use to sneak around in the middle of the night when I was gone?"

"You knew?" She feels her voice go small.

"You're not even going to try and deny it?" he laughs bitterly when looks way.

She is too taken aback by his change of tone, she almost doesn't recognize him.

"Its true."

"I know it is" he says irritated.

"But we never did anything we needed to feel ashamed of. There had been times when I needed a friend because I was scared, and he was there. Only as a friend. Nothing else." And it was not until she hears herself say it that she realized that innocence of it all. The jokes, the snacks, everything. Martin never asked or took.

Her mind quickly goes back to earlier, when T-bone was on top of her, both of them lying on that couch. She recalls how they got there. T-bone had started to unbutton her shirt first, and how his hands were the first to roam. T-bone took, and took.

"Are you sure that's all it was?" he asks doubtingly.

"That's all it was for me." She says.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know. I guess I thought you would get mad."

"Just tell me you don't love him" Its sounds like a plea, whether he'd meant for it or not.

"I cant. I'm not sure. I might feel something for him." she speaks honestly, perhaps the most honesty she has given him since his return.

He looks angry and resentful when she says this.

"I've known all along. Ever since Jane told me about you two. I just knew that every time you finished talking to me on the phone you were going to run and call… _him_" he voice was eerily calm now.

He had taken to walking back and forth the parking lot space, not really meeting her eyes.

"You slept with Jane." She counters back, flatly.

"So I did." He admits in his artificially calm voice. "I didn't know what to do. I was losing you and I figured it was only a matter of time before you left me. So, when Jane told me that she could give me what you couldn't" he broke off, then.

T-bone's voice was beginning to crackle; she could hear it and Ruthie knew that the fall was near.

"I took it, even though I knew you would stay" he finished off.

"You knew I would never leave you, and you still did it." She lets out a harsh chuckle, when the words come out, because its true, Ruthie would never have hurt him like that.

"Yes. What difference does any of it make in the end? You're never going to love me. Not after this." And that's when it happened. The crack, the moment he broke.

There is silence for a moment, and both just stood there taking in the truth for what it was.

"I forgive you, for what its worth." Ruthie says it and finds that she means it. She doesn't know why, but she does. At that moment, she realizes that in a way it wasn't fare to cast all the blame on him. She should have just stayed alone, but she'd dragged T-bone into her mess. This is what he'd become because of it, what she had helped create for her own selfish reasons of wanting a quick solution. He did of course chose to sleep with Jane, so that, well she could learn to forgive him if enough time passed, maybe.

"Why?" he asks surprised.

"Because I should have told you about it myself. You shouldn't have heard it from Jane or anyone else."

"I still love you." He stumbles over the words when they come out. "Can you give us another chance?"

She shakes her head, and he lets his drop, defeated at her response.

She is half ways back when she turns around again, and asks the question that's been bugging her since he told her.

"Is he really dating Jane?" She asks, because she had to know, T-bone at least owned her that much.

He shakes his head, looking shameful.

How could she be so stupid?

---

A/n: Hey you guys! I know i said this was going to be the last chapter but I'm actually trying to cut the chapter I already have and get some things out of the way before ruthie and martin meet up again. sorry. I hope you guys don't mind. I've re-written the last chapter completely, so that is why its taking me a while. Thanks for all the great reviews, you guys are too awesome!


	8. Chapter 8

N/A: This is a filler chapter because I just realized that I have a lot of loose ends. No worries the final chapter is done, but I keep going back and adding stuff. Lol. Also, is anyone still interested in reading the story "Blinding?"

----

Ruthie enters the church hall. T-bone is trailing not far behind. He hadn't said anything after they left the parking lot grounds. All that is left for T-bone to do is scatter over to the DJ booth where Jane had probably been waiting for him. Jane was biting her nails and taping her foot nervously against the steps of the podium when they came in. Her gaze immediately turning to T-bone, brightening when their eyes connected. Ruthie supposes it was in triumph, because it was all about winning with that girl.

Ruthie didn't know how to feel at that moment. She'd had been lied to by her boyfriend, but Jane had owed her nothing. Jane had shown that she had no scruples when it came to screwing her over. Maybe, Ruthie should go and confront Jane for all the lies shed made up, but Ruthie was not about to make a scene, besides she had something every important to take care of. Had Martin come back? Ruthie wonders as she scans the room. She knows it is unlikely since she hadn't seen any cars come in when she'd been outside, but she just had to make sure. Kevin and her dad where talking to Sergeant Michaels, while her mom was busy talking to the twins, Savannah resting her head against mother's shoulder as she held her to one side.

Ruthie spotted Robbie. She might have missed him if she hadn't been really looking for someone, but there he was in the corner of the hall, and he wasn't alone. Ruthie immediately identified the second person to be Lucy. They were standing by the old cherry wood doors leading to the hallway.

By the good distance that separated them, Ruthie could not tell much of what was going on. She saw that Robbie was busy talking or explaining? Something, and by the way Lucy was bugging her eyes, it didn't take much to figure her sister was in shock. Ruthie looked on, wide-eyed. He'd actually done it! Ruthie immediately shot her eyes in all directions, of course everyone continued on like nothing was happening--they hadn't a clue. And Ruthie had a conversation with Robbie, not thirty minutes ago as to why he couldn't do precisely what he was doing right now? She was going kill him! Why, of all days, did everyone one chose today to be honest?

From her peripheral all Ruthie can capture is Lucy, looking at Robbie for a good while and then, in that instinctual mother hen type of thing Lucy seems to have, she pulls Robbie down into a hug. Robbie wraps his arms around her back and they stay like that for a couple of seconds before Lucy pulls away. Lucy smile sympathetically. Robbie stands there with resigned acceptance. At that moment Ruthie has to look away, feeling like an intruder witnessing a moment she probably shouldn't have.

"Hey, we need to talk." Ruthie feels a tap on her shoulder.

Jane was standing on Ruthie's side. Ruthie hadn't even felt her coming, but Jane was there, looking troubled, and notably absent was the condescending bravado her voice usually carried when speaking or referring to Ruthie. It was rather soft, almost.

"Yes, I suppose we do, but I don't think now is the right time." Ruthie answers stiffly, turning her back to Jane in an attempt get Jane to leave her alone.

"Well, tough nails because we are." Jane says this time more bravely, positioning herself in front of Ruthie and blocking any way out, which leaves Ruthie to wonder if she has a choice in the matter.

Ruthie looks furiously at Jane because who was she to say when, and where, and besides had she not taken note on the amount of people inside the hall? Janice, the number the ring leader in the gossip crowd of the church and the rest of her gang, have already gone silent sensing that something was about to go down, and begin to whisper to themselves.

"Excuse me?" Ruthie says, raising her eyebrow at Jane, finding herself becoming more aggravated with that felt like an ambush.

"Look" Jane says, her bravery deflating a little. "I need to talk to you about T-bone and Martin… Please."

"Well, I don't want to talk to you." Ruthie snaps back.

And when Ruthie tries to leave, Jane moves to block her, preventing any means of a getaway.

"Why not?" Jane appears to be offended.

"What do you mean, _why not?"_ Ruthie yells out, incredulously, "You and T-bone were having a _thing_ behind my back!"

"So?" Jane responds, looking like she didn't quite get what the big deal was.

_Was she for real?_

"What do you mean _so_?" Ruthie yells, stepping in closer. "He was my _boyfriend." _

"Yes, a boyfriend you didn't want," Jane counters. "A boyfriend you took for granted all because you are still in love with Martin Brewer. Or was it not you seeing him behind T-bone's back while he was in Seattle at his dad's?"

Jane was giving her that 'you know I'm right look', hand on hip, daring her to deny it.

"No." Ruthie moves in closer, feeling her anger rising now, "You don't know anything about what we had, we didn't sleep together, and we didn't do anything, so don't stand there and try to justify you actions with such a crappy excuse. He was my boyfriend. I chose T-bone and I made a commitment to him. I would have stayed with him."

"But you didn't love him. I do. I want him…" Jane stops herself, putting one hand over her mouth to stop herself.

"Well, he's all yours"

Ruthie suddenly feels nauseous, and all she wants is to get out of this hall. She can see her mom standing six-- seven feet away from where they are, staring at them like if she's barely understanding the severity of the problem. Ruthie knew that her mom had been trying to make her and Jane friends, and Ruthie also knew that because it had been her mom's personal mission to do so, her mom would take this failure as something she could have prevented.

Her dad, Sergeant Michael, and Kevin looked on—stunned. She noticed for the first time how silent the room actually was, and all the eyes that were on them. Ruthie sees Robbie moving across the room, heading their way.

"Look, Ruthie I'm sorry." Jane says seriously.

Ruthie meets her mother's eye. She looks disappointed.

"There. You have no idea how hard that was to say." She admits, still talking.

Her dad seems to be debating whether to walk over or not.

"I mean it. I am sorry for letting things go this far. At first it was to get back at Martin for what he did to me. I couldn't just let him get away with it, and guess I didn't care who got cough it the cross fire."

" What exactly did you do to get back at him?" Ruthie questions, her attention now on Jane.

"I went along with what was supposed to be 'a good plan'" Jane answers, "When T-bone called me the last night he was still in Seattle and asked me to pretend to back with Martin, I went along with it without so much as a second thought. I was still so angry for what Martin had done to me it was the perfect opportunity I'd been waiting for. But then, everything changed and then…"she trailed off and looked where T-bone was standing.

"Then? You slept with him and thought that why not? Might as well get Ruthie too" Ruthie breaks in, pointing at T-bone who had to duck away in the booth.

"Um…Ladies." Robbie interrupts; turning from Ruthie to Jane, not sure how to approach the situation he'd just walked himself into. "Maybe this is not the place to be having this discussion." He eyes the hall, and Ruthie and Jane follow his gaze to the small crowd that has long ago stopped working and were now staring.

.

Robbie was right; this conversation was too private to be airing their dirty laundry for everyone to hear. No doubt the Glenoak gossip circuit would have the whole congregation know by the end the day.

"Your right, I'm done" Ruthie give one final glance at Jane and Robbie before heading to the exit.

She still hadn't forgotten her pending conversation with Robbie, but that would have to wait.

Ruthie can hear Jane call her name, following her, but she doesn't stop.

When they are by the parking lots, Ruthie turns around abruptly causing Jane to come to a complete halt. Ruthie clearly not impressed at Jane's newfound conscious, just looks on with fiery eyes.

"I just don't get it? What have I ever done to you to hate me so much?" Ruthie flails her arms up in confusion.

"I don't hate you" Jane frowns.

"You do!" Ruthie accuses back because why else would Jane have gone out of her way to make Ruthie so miserable?

"But I don't" Jane asserts.

"Then why do you do the things you do?"

"I would have thought that the Camden's own freakin' family shrink or whatnot would have figured it out by now" Jane makes an irritated face, like if the answer is the most obvious thing in the world.

"Well, I haven't," Ruthie shouts, honestly, "So explain to me what is it that I'm suppose to have figured out."

Jane lets out a groan; looking as though she hadn't actually thought she had to say it out loud.

"Fine" Jane seems reluctant and avoids making eye contact with Ruthie, taking, instead, interest in the small green leaves from a nearby bush.

"Go on."

They both stay quiet for a good moment.

"I'm jealous. Ok." Jane spills the words out fast. Sill avoiding making eye contact, she starts picking the small leaves sticking out of the bush.

"You're what?" Ruthie steps in closer.

If Ruthie hadn't heard it coming from the source, she wouldn't have believed it. Frankly, she didn't know such words existed in Jane's vocabulary.

Maybe she should double check?

"I know shocking right? I don't get it myself." Jane confesses.

"You should see you face right now."

Jane says through her sudden fit of giggles, which she tries to suppress in her hand. There is no mock in her face. Its true, shock, disbelieve, whatever synonym you want to give, Ruthie's face mirrors it.

"Why?"

Ruthie can't say that she isn't completely taken aback at this revelation. Jane jealous of _her_? Jane might have been her sworn enemy, but Ruthie had to admit a lot of guys wanted her. She was tall, blond, and attractive. Wasn't that like the description of the 'Every guys dream girl?'

"You're pretty, not as good-looking as me of course, but come on guys totally want you and people just think your great, and you're sincere and stuff. You've managed to affect someone to the point where you've actually changed them for the better. Look at what a slime ball Martin use to be. He's actually a decent guy now. Even I apologized to you. Me!"

"Guys don't usually get with me for my brains. Except, that all changed when…T-bone, he actually cares about what I have to say--"

Ruthie has to interrupt right then, "Ok I get it" she puts one hand up before Jane can go on any further. "I just don't think we're at the point where we could discuss T-bone and your, whatever."

"Ok" Jane nods.

"I can't forgive you" Ruthie says with finality, looking at the lot of cars outside.

"Ok" Jane says, again.

They stand there. The two of them in the middle of the parking lot. Jane's stares onward at the cars passing through the narrow two-way road up ahead.

Ruthie looks out into the distance; just beyond the parking lot, at the row of giant pine threes lined along the roadside barriers across the street. The sun is at its highest point by now, shining bright against a clear blue sky. There, on the mountain ridge up ahead there is already a visible hint of snow at its top. It's amazing that in a couple of days the green- yellow earth covering the ridge will soon vanish and begin to be replaced with coatings of pure white snow. When Ruthie had started her late night snacks with Martin, the mountain ridge had barely begun to be roofed with small patches of dry yellow grassland, welcoming the beginning of fall. Now, it was getting ready to welcome another season. I'd been too long. Ruthie thought. How she longed to see him.

"What are you doing to do about Martin?" Jane asks, as if guessing what Ruthie was thinking

"Nothing. He probably hates me anyway." Ruthie says quietly, more to herself than to Jane. She feels the lump in her throat forming, but she won't cry.

It was better this way right? This didn't change anything, well except the fact that she'd been completely wrong and had to apologize to Martin, but other than that, what? Martin probably must have thought her a crazy nut with multi-personality issues. He probably didn't want her anymore. _No, no. Please not that. _She quickly preyed. Deep inside, Ruthie knew that she didn't want Martin to give up on her_. _

"I know!" Jane shouts excitedly, snapping her fingers together as if having a great idea. "I'll tell Martin everything. I'll tell him what T-bone and I did, and he'll know the truth."

"You'll cry, he'll cry and _voila! _Everything willbe ok!"

"I don't think so."

"Come on, He'll understand."

"Understand what? That I'm a lunatic that goes off whenever I see him? What's worst, over something I had no right to get worked up about? I had a chance Jane. And I screwed it up. I was confused and I pushed him away. I let myself believe that you and Martin were back together without questioning it, without giving him a chance to know why I was angry. All because…because…"

"You were scared?" Jane fills in, where she found Ruthie couldn't.

"It doesn't matter anymore."

Ruthie doesn't know why she was telling Jane all this, it's not like she'd care, but Ruthie guesses that's what happens when you keep things in for too long. You spill your guts to anyone that will listen…. even if it's the girl you dislike most in the world.

"What do you mean, _it doesn't matter anymore_!" Jane cries out, mimicking Ruthie, "You have to try! You can't let go of your true love just like that. Not without fighting with all you've got! A wise person once said, 'People that are meant to be together always find their way back.' So, duh, you'll totally get back together then."

"You got that from a TV show." Ruthie argues lethargically.

"It doesn't make it any less true."

"Why do you care? Wasn't your mission in this whole thing to ruin his life?"

"True. It was before, but now…" Jane says with this unrecognizable gentleness in her voice. "I know what true love is and I can't…I won't let what I did be the reason why you can't be together. "

Ruthie didn't know where all these surprises were coming from. First Robbie, then T-bone, and now Jane, the crusader of true love and justice? What would be next?

Ruthie has to suppress the urge to tell Jane that the feeling seem to be one-sided. T-bone had pleaded for Ruthie forgiveness and asked her to take him back earlier in this parking lot. Whatever feelings Jane might think they had shared, Ruthie was certain T-bone was not reciprocating, not in his mind.

"T-bone won't forgive you." Ruthie remarks carefully, feeling uncertain in the territory she's venturing in.

"He will." Jane eyes are bright and brilliant, and sure. She seems so certain that he will it's hard for Ruthie not to feel at least sympathy for her.

Ruthie manages a smile, because what else is there to do? There was that small voice inside telling Ruthie that it was wrong for her not to say anything, but what it she did tell Jane about what happened earlier? Ruthie was sure Jane wouldn't allow herself to believe any of it, not when Jane thought herself so in love with T-bone.

Maybe, Ruthie thinks, Jane will find the truth on her own.

Ruthie doesn't say anything when she starts to head into the direction of the Church, leaving Jane standing there.

"Where are you going?" Ruthie hears Jane ask from behind.

"Where do you think?" Ruthie says, not helping the mirth in her voice.

"Oh yes!" Jane's echo cheers on, raising two thumbs in encouragement, "good luck!"

Ruthie waves one hand in goodbye and she disappears inside the Hall doors.

Ruthie was left feeling weird sensation after her conversation with Jane. It certainly wasn't how Ruthie had pictured it in happening, that's for sure. She imagined bloody noses and swollen eyes. Of course, this came from the imagination of a person who derived all her experience from fights sequences she'd seen in the Karate Kid as a little girl. Ruthie believed she would make Mr. Miyagi very proud. Ruthie hadn't expected to be confronted with _this _Jane, though. A Jane that was _nice_, even helpful.

It was safe to say that they probably wouldn't be friends after this, but the funny thing was, somehow they were no longer enemies, either.

It defiantly gave Ruthie something to think about on her way to Martin's house.

----


	9. Chapter 9

Ruthie asks Robbie to let her borrow his car because he will ask the least of questions, or at she hoped he is, unless being around the family for few hours had already started to take some sort of effect. Robbie, not really saying much, reaches down to his jean pockets and takes out the set of keys.

"I saw you looking." Is all he says when he catches her eye. "Later ok?"

Ruthie nods, and takes the keys from his outstretched hand.

She didn't waste any time to get out that church hall. She had already seen her dad coming towards her, but she bolts out of there so fast you'd think someone had lit a fire under her.

When she makes it to Martin's, or the street, she parked outside her house because she hadn't actually though it out that far and she needed a plan, or the beginnings of one. She hadn't realized she was gripping the steering wheel so hard until her fingers begin to ache. She couldn't move. What would she say?

_Don't think about it, just go for it_, She told herself, taking deep breaths to relax the anxious feeling coming over, she resolved that nothing worse could really happen, right?

Ruthie doesn't want to get her hopes up because she knows so many things can and probably will go wrong, but there is hope. Inside her, there is still that little voice telling her that it will be all right. Her mind is made up, and with the nervous feeling in pit of her stomach, mixed with excitement, she get out from the car.

_This is going to work._

She has to believe it is.

---

"Martin!" Bou Brewer calls out. He was slightly hunched over, staring out from the living room window.

"What!" Marin responds from somewhere up stairs.

"Come down here."

"Why?"

"Just come down will ya? "

"What is it?" Martin's steps are heavy under the wooden stairs as he makes his way down, and rolls his eyes as he catches sight of his dad. Was he spying on the new gym teacher that hat just moved across the street, again?

"You better come down here and see for yourself." His dad makes no effort to move but he does bring a finger up to point at something outside the window.

"Dad, I'm packing. I have to leave right now to go pick up Aaron, and really dad? Spying from the window? Kind of creepy don't you think?"

His dad gives him an exasperated glance, and waves him over with out saying anything.

He adjusts the strap of the two black bags that hang over his shoulder and with great labor Martin drags himself to the where his dad is still standing.

"Look."

There is a mischievous gleam in his father's eyes as he gazes at Martin and back at the view outside.

And when Martin sets himself next to his father and sees what his dad was going on about. He sees Ruthie on the other side of the street, next to a car he didn't recognize. They stayed there not doing much but observe her though the blinders and she certainly takes her time before she actually makes her way across the street and walks up the front steps of his house.

The doorbell rings. Once.

Martin glances at his father who shrugs and grins as he casually strides away down the hall, leaving him standing to answer the door.

Martin sprints to the small distance and almost trips on the bags when he drops them as he rips the door open.

"Hi" Ruthie says. Her brown eyes wide and childlike as she stares from the door back to him.

"Hey." He manages to say, but it's the first time he's seen her in a long while that he finds himself gripping the door in order to stop himself from grabbing her and squeezing tight. He quickly remembers his place. Ruthie doesn't want him, and he has no right to want those things.

So he stares back.

"You're here." She smiles nervously and she looks kind of awkward standing on the outside steps with her hands tucked behind somewhere and her legs crossed in some contortion that looks like it hurts.

His feels his mouth gap open, and his throat feels suddenly dry.

"Yeah, this is my house."

She gives a small laugh. "Oh, right. So how are you?"

"I'm doing fine. You?" He asks. Martin is waiting for the snarky comment or roll of her eyes. She surprises him when she doesn't do either. Just a nod and a frown. He is confused and intrigued. Martin can't remember the last time she looked so out of place.

"Good." She responds in a low voice. She bites her lower lip and he can't help but stare as her teeth lightly squeeze down, her abused lip becoming a shade of red he cant describe.

"Good."

"Yep."

"Where's the chipmunk, I see he isn't following you today." He tries to make it sound like a quip, but it comes out as a jab, and even he hears the jealousy in own voice. He knows this will get her rattled because apparently that _chipmunk stick_ can do no wrong in her eyes. But her eyes go wide and she swallows hard. _Smooth, real smooth._

"We're not together anymore." A shaky voice answers him back.

"Oh." Is all he is able to come up with. Yes, _oh_.

It takes him a moment before he tries a better answer, but when he opens his mouth and tries to move in closer she interrupts him.

"Are you going somewhere?" she smiles as she changes the subject and fixes her eyes to the floor where the bags sit discarded.

"I have to go pick up Aaron." He explains. "Ruthie--"

"Oh that's good. You must be exited to see him again." her eyes are warm, sincerity in her whispery voice. "Say Hi for me?"

"I will."

Her eyes wondered down again. Her reactions were so unlike her, he suddenly felt irritated. Where was the old Ruthie?

"You came here. Why? Didn't you hate me this week or something?"

She looks a little taken aback, maybe from hint of anger in his voice.

"No..no I've never hated you." Her voice is small, and he can't stand it. This isn't her.

"Funny, could have sworn you did when you slammed the door in my face, but I guess today is a different day. "

He pushed. Martin wasn't sure where it was coming from, and the look of her face when he said it made him feel like a jackass.

Would she cry?

She turns her head and blinks really fast. Martin is sure she is.

Was this it? He thought. Would it always be that way when he said something, even if she had it coming, he would always be the one to feel like a little shit in the end?

"Will you be back for the dance?"

"Yes but I'm not going. You made it pretty clear that you wanted nothing to do with me, so I wont go."

"I shouldn't have come. I'm going leave." She says though a shaky breath and disentangles her legs.

"That's it?" He steps out from the door. She looks caught of guard.

"I think so." She finally says through a smile that doesn't quite reach the whole way.

Martin to take back the past couple minutes and say the right things to make her want to stay. And he doesn't care what has happened to the old Ruthie because all he wants to do is apologize because as she begins to turn he feels a the sudden panic in brain. _She's leaving._

"Why don't you come in?" He quickly offers, with a whole lot of desperation in his voice that he doesn't care to mask.

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea."

"I'm sorry. Don't Go. Please."

---

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews and sticking with me this far! This is just a preview of the chapter which I've been working. I was originally done with it a while back but I have gone back and changed a couple of things (not the ending). I hope to have the story all wrapped up by the end of the month! Thanks again!


	10. Chapter 10

"You don't have to be nice to me," Ruthie is shaking her head as she turns around, "I wasn't."

"Please." He insists, and he is relieved when she doesn't take another step.

Still, Ruthie looks conflicted, deciding what her next move is. Her gaze turns to the house across the street and back to his.

"I have to go."

"I don't get it." He leaves the door and walks her direction, "One day you hate me and then you show up here. Why?" He watches her, but her expression is unreadable this time.

"You know why." She says, tiredly.

00000100000

"I do?"

Martin Brewer may have thought he knew everything about life, baseball, and school, but one thing he clearly had no clue about was love. Ruthie was convinced, but hey who was she to judge.

" Martin Brewer you are so dumb." She cant' help but rolls her eyes at him, "really."

All politeness set aside now, what would it take for him to see?

He grins at her and crosses his arms.

"There you are." He says, "Thought maybe you'd been brainwashed or something…well more I mean."

"What?"

"Like those cults. You know? Tom Cruise? Come one." He suddenly gets serious, and puts a hand on one side of his mouth as he leans in like he's going to tell her as secret, and in a stage whisper he says," No girl…out of their own free would ever date that _thing_ you call boyfriend."

Martin fervently nods as he pulls away.

She scoffs and can't help the laugh that escapes. Even though, she should find the comment offensive.

He's distracting her. Ruthie knows this.

"I guess." She concedes.

Ruthie also knows that they are not made for angst and she is relieved by the turn of mood in the conversation.

He raises an eyebrow at her, and she as his grin grows wider at her lack of objection.

"So you and T-bone." he observes her, "finally done?"

"Done for good!" Ruthie exclaims, a little dramatically, which makes him laugh.

Thought, she thinks he wouldn't be laughing if he knew the reasons why.

"Does this mean I can kick is ass?"

"Totally."

His eyes flicker with laughter.

There wasn't really any right words to start the conversation she was about to begin, but the middle sounds good because to understand the beginning they would really have to start with the last time they spoke with each other, which was when she slammed the door in his face and told him she hated him...for the second time.

"He told me you were with Jane." She starts. It's simple and to the point and she watches his smile quickly disappear.

Wha-"

But she stops him before he can finish whatever he's about to say.

"I believed him." she takes a deep breath, and points to the steps.

He is reluctant but follows her as they sit on the cool concrete steps.

"He was sleeping with her."

From the corner of her eye she sees that he is trying hard not to say anything. His jaw is strained, the muscle prominent, as his brow pull together in mixture of anger and disbelief.

Ruthie knows that he is waiting to hear more, as well a processing what he is hearing.

"I found out through a text and then I confronted him and he didn't deny it." Her voice is bitter, she hears it, but not for the reasons anyone would think. "Then he asked me if I loved you, and-" she stops.

When she doesn't continue he turns to meet her eyes, which are already on him.

"And?" Marin asks. His face is clears of any anger. He keeps his eyes on hers as he leans in.

The way he looks at her makes her think maybe she was wrong, maybe he knew how much she loved him before she even did.

"And I told him I might have feelings for you, but I don't know." She responds, honestly.

She searches his eyes for a reaction.

His mouth parts about the say something, but then the door creaks loud from behind they turn to see Mr. Brewer adjusting the collar of his jacket as his keys dangle from his free hand.

"Ruthie." He greets her as he steps out from the door.

"Hi Mr. Brewer." She greets back weakly and stands up.

Martin does the same but looks irritated by the interruption.

"Dad." He says flatly.

"What are you kids up to?" Mr. Brewer said conversationally, glancing between them.

"Talking, dad." Martin answers, annoyed. "Do you mind?"

"Good." Mr. Brewer says, clearly not getting it. "You two use to hang out a lot. Ruthie, I miss having you around. This one has been such a grouch lately" He points at Martin. "Just today-"

Martin's eyes look like they are about to pop out of their sockets, and he quickly steps in. "Dad." He hisses. "No one wants to hear the stories. Weren't you going somewhere?

Ruthie is amused by the exchange, as she stands silent.

"Oh right." Mr. Brewer does a not so subtle wink his way. "I was going to do some…Umm landscaping."

Martin seems to relax, "Well, don't be late on our account."

He quickly clears the way so his father can leave.

"Ruthie, you tell me if this one gets out of line." He smiles Ruthie's way this time. "I'll set him straight."

Ruthie nods with a little chuckle. Apparently over protectiveness ran in the family.

Mr. Brewer pats Martin on the shoulder and motions to his wristwatch with a finger as he moves pass him.

"Crap." Martin whispered, looking at his own watch.

"I know landscaping on a Sunday? I told you he was in the CIA."

"No, not that."

Then Ruthie remembers that bags and knows that he has to leave soon.

"You should go. "She tells him, "Don't be late, and don't forget to say hi for me."

"I'm sorry." He sighs, "Sandy and Jonathan have to be at some benefit for the Hospital and-"

"It's fine."

He leaves her for a second as he disappears into the house. When he comes back he doesn't have anything but some keys when he walks over to her.

Ruthie is puzzled, but he quickly clarifies.

"I was taking the bags up there today because I was only planning on brining Aaron for the day to visit dad, but I think we'll stay the weekend."

"We'll finish the conversation when you come back." she promises. "Now go or you'll get traffic!"

"Would you come with me?" He asks quickly, looking expectedly at her now.

She is surprised by the invitation, and just then she hears the honk of a car. Both their heads turn across the street.

Her dad is standing outside his car, while Robbie stands outside the passengers' side, waves at her.

It seems like today would be a day of interruptions as well.

She lets out an incredulous laugh at the timing.

"I can't."

"I understand" he looks at her dad across the street and waves.

"I kinda have to go."

It's kind of awkward because neither really knows they stand now. Are they friends? Maybe. So does she hug him? Does she shake his hand? Ruthie doesn't do either. She does a little hand wave and leaves.

While going down the path, Ruthie feels a little unhappy that she couldn't tell him everything she had meant to tell him, but it would have to be enough for now. Martin knew at least part of it, and they were talking again. God, she missed seeing him. This had been the first time in a while since they had been in the same space. She still had the most important part to tell him, though—the late night snacks.

"He's not CIA." She hears him call after her.

"Sure, whatever you say." She turns around half way and smiles.


End file.
